Sunday, November 25, 2012

I love it when friends just get it.

last summer, my cousin mentioned to me that my father had stopped drinking because the doctor had told him he had to.

"We'll see how long that lasts," I'd replied.

My dad is an alcoholic. Has been an active drinker my whole life; has caused all the attendant emotional damage that alcoholic parents do.

Two days ago I was talking to my mother, and she said, "Your dad hasn't had a beer in eight months. I'm so proud of him."

Pride? From the woman who's insisted my whole life that my father did not have a drinking problem?

But that's not what really bothered me. I was telling my oldest friend this story, and she nailed it.

"If it was so easy asshole, why didn't you do it before?"

A-freaking men.

My guess is that the doctor had some grave news that scared the shit out of my dad. Because sobering up for your family isn't motivation enough.


karen said...

Ya. Ouch. Wow.

I wish dads of their generation were a bit less selfish and a bit more ... connected. #$*&#AA& mine is all I can say. (Whoops?! Did I say that?!)

Um ya. Ouch.

JC said...

Yep, I hear you. Right on! Tried to explain to Kevin why it angered me, and he didn't get it. He said, "I guess if I loved my Dad I'd be happy for him." Trying to explain pathological parents to people with fairly loving parents is really hard; they seem to think that our parents are just like theirs except for this one small problem or personality quirk. Like my dad was this great, caring, attentive guy who got drunk like their friends do at parties. They don't understand that parents can behave in ways that aren't loving or protective, or mature, or responsible, and that they can really not give a shit about how they affect their kids/families. That it's an entire world of hell that they create. Ahh. It makes me tired.

Anonymous said...

I still get you in my reader, but it occurred to me that I'm not sure I ever told you where I moved to. Seeking Elevation is now

I thought it was impossible to be a dad and not be a moron until my husband became a daddy. There's hope.

JC said...

Hey! Yes, Karen filled me in on your new spot. I've been AWOL a bit, but I do check in because I love your stuff. The nonstop play reviewing has been sucking my will to write, especially since I don't think I'm a particularly goo reviewer, and don't really care at this point. It should calm down after December.