- Perform a "welcome back" drum solo for your co-worker, using cheap pens and the area table.
- Explain to North America Payroll that you *know* they don't have wage info for the Australian John Smith, so perhaps you mean the John Smith in Connecticut. Yes. THAT John Smith. Oh look! You found him!
- Sing selections from "Avenue Q"
- Pay back all the baseball and hockey addicts by constantly mentioning the roller derby game coming up. "Windy City Rollers vs. The Boston Massacre!! The Jam is ON! UIC Pavilion! There! Can! Be! Only! ONE!" Follow up by singing Jim Croce's "Roller Derby Queen."
- Nap in the onesie bathroom.
- Pick up work from the photocopier, and by this I mean exit the other door and head to the lobby for frozen yogurt.
- Taunt the pregnant attorney who thinks she hears a kitten mewing ("I think it's the hormones. You sure this kitten isn't calling your name?") Begin mewing when she walks by.
Did I mention the department head is out all week?