I've been here almost five years now, and I love it here, don't get me wrong; but I have a few thoughts I'd like to share with you:
"Diversity in the workplace" does not mean that you hire both Cubs AND Sox fans.
An "upscale" restaurant does not mean that the wall TV plays only major league, not college, sports.
A "balanced diet" does not mean hamburgers AND hot dogs.
A foot of snow is not a snowstorm.
Being proud of government corruption doesn't impress anyone.
Wrigley Field is not a ball park; it's a huge keg party with a ridiculously high cover.
Men: Dressing up does not mean that your shirt matches your baseball cap.
Women: Dressing up does not mean that your dress matches your baseball cap.
No matter how many times you tell yourself differently, The Wisconsin Dells waterpark is not an exotic getaway.
Walking never killed anyone. Neither did a vegetable. Or subtitles.