Saturday, June 13, 2009

"Soon it will be YOUUUUU who comes begging to MEEEEE!"

So today my pal B and I went to see Drag me To Hell. I love horror movies, but have no stomach for the gruesomely violent, often misogynistic slaughterfests that are offered up these days. DMTH not only got decent reviews, it looked really goofy and fun and predictable in that good way.

And it was all of that. Unfortunately, we were burdened with a row of teens in back who NEVER SHUT THE FRICK UP, but it's not like any plot was lost among the endless giggling and chatter. 

Like any good schlock movie, there were holes in the logic that you could drive a truck through, but that only added to the fun (Why is it that a woman with the power to conjure up the top demon from hell can't conjure up a mortgage payment? How is it that a twenty-something loan processor at a tiny bank can afford to live alone in an adorable house right outside LA? How was she able to excavate an entire grave by herself in just a few hours? And really, who cares?)

Justin Long (also known as The Mac from the Mac/PC ads) is edibly adorable as the stand-by-your-demon-haunted-girlfriend guy. I whispered to B, "Know why he's so reliable? Because he's a Mac." But when the ADORABLE kitten entered the picture, B whispered, "Nothing good can come of this," and she was right. When Perfect Boyfriend handed the kitten to the protagonist you could almost see "NOTHING THIS CUTE EVER HAS A BRIGHT FUTURE IN A HORROR FILM" flashing on the screen.

She had a Mac laptop; he had an iPhone (NUDGE NUDGE). It was delightful to see a copy of Vegetarian Planet in the girl's kitchen: she's a vegetarian animal-lover who volunteers at the animal shelter; we know this because she blurts it all out in one sentence to a spiritualist-- this is what passes for character development here -- during a discussion of the kinds of stresses that can drive people to animal sacrifice in order to appease demons. (It was at this point that B and I looked at each other knowingly and mouthed, "ADIOS, KITTEN.")

All in all, very good fun if you don't expect epic movie making and prefer your characters simple. The shock was all soft-core gross-out clearly aimed at teens. No sex, no real gore, just lots of goo and crawlies and nosebleeds and spooky good fun (The Evil Haunted Hankie alone is worth it). 

Go, enjoy, and may all your cakes be eyeball-free.

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