My boss called me today from the airport in Miami.
"I'm at the gate I'm supposed to be, but there's no plane, and no personnel. The flight is supposed to leave in ten minutes and I don't know what's happened. The screen displays the same departure time as on my itinerary. Can you call our travel agency and see what the delay is?"
"You want me to call the travel agency to see what the delay is?"
"Yeah. And then call me back and let me know."
"You're in the airport, right?"
Clearly, he doesn't understand that this is Joycode for "WHY THE HELL DON'T YOU JUST WALK UP TO SOMEONE WHO WORKS THERE AND ASK THEM, RATHER THAN INTERRUPTING ME IN THE MIDDLE OF CODING A HUNDRED INVOICES TO ASK ME TO CALL A TRAVEL AGENT WHO IS UNLIKELY TO HAVE ANY INFORMATION NOT READILY AVAILABLE AT THE ACTUAL AIRPORT WHERE THE DELAY IS EXPERIENCED?
I also refrained from pointing out that if he looked in his wallet he'd find the card issued by the travel agency that would allow him to call them directly. I didn't trust myself to keep the sarcasm out of my voice.
I simply went to United's site and saw that the flight was delayed all of fifteen minutes. I called him back with the news, and he reported that by then a plane had arrived and people were appearing.
Another day, another needy boss who wants a mommy, another failure to refrain from using the Eff Word.