Saturday, March 10, 2007

My Day as Mr. Bean

Wake up, feed cats, feed rabbits, give Rudy his antibiotics. Go to kitchen, make coffee. Check coffee to realize that after filling the pot with water I did not pour it into the maker but set it in the pot on the brewing base. Pour coffee into maker, replace pot and filter and top onto base.

Make toast; go to coffee maker; realize I didn't turn coffee maker on. Turn on coffee maker. When toast is toasted, apply peanut butter and go for coffee. Become puzzled that coffee is still water. Realize I didn't put coffee into the filter. Do so, re-pour water, make sure coffee maker is on. When coffee is finally done, drink.

Go out to car to ensure it is running. It is, of course, not. Call vet, explain I will be a little late, reserve local iGo flexcar. Go to spot, wait for previous renter, take car when she returns it, try to back up out of very tight spot, checking side mirrors repeatedly to see plenty of clearance, which leads to great surprise at the sound and sensation of hitting something, Drive to house, park car, view damage: dent/scrape to the very bottom of the side of the car. (What the hell??!?!) Curse, not for the first time, being short with limited sight lines. Pick up Lola, drive to Wilmette, contemplating on the way whether it's time to give up my car. Realize I am not yet ready.

At vet, discover that one of Lola's teeth is indeed giving her trouble, which explains her recent indifference to hay. Agree with vet that it's best to bring her in every three weeks rather than every month, which is of course to the tune of $75.75 per visit to float her molars. Just like a horse. So between the hay and the teeth and the cost, I pretty much have a little fluffy pony.

Return home, drop off rabbit, return car. Walk home, log onto iGo to find out how to report damage, discover that you have to fill out form in car. Call iGo. Local on-call person helpfully suggests making a half-hour reservation, returning to car, filling out form, then calling her so that she can reverse reservation charge. Do this, solving damage mystery by discovering that a section of conduit cover juts out about 10 inches from telephone pole one foot off the ground; this is what caught the bottom of my car when it seemed I had cleared pole. Explain this to on-call person, who suggests it was not something I could have reasonably been expected to avoid. Hope this carries weight in absolving me of $500 insurance deductible.

Return home; out of sheer masochism try to start my own car, which of course roars to life on the first try. Decide to take in the 50-lb box of hay recently purchased. (I special order it from Parkview Pet Supply; when it comes in, Joe, the owner, notifies me by leaving me breathy messages from "Your hay pusher.") Pull box from car, get onto sidewalk, decide it's best to just flip the box end-over-end all the way to the back entrance. Do this, finally lifting box up back stairs to the tune of I HATE YOU by the Lumbar Orchestra. Find myself wishing that I had a boyfriend, or at least a roommate, at times like these.

Put hay away. Because day is glorious, decide to bike, realizing the insanity of this given my luck so far. Bike to gas station, put air in tires, ride to the Uptpwn Borders, buy books, bike to Lincoln Square, sit in coffee shop with book and coffee, very happy. Bike to salon, have hair done (Summer and I are back to blonde - spring is HERE, baby). Bike home, get ready for birthday party.

Fingers crossed the night ends well.

12:49 AM update (technically 1:40 with DST here): party was small but friendly. Amused by very young man who clearly had crush on me and thought I'd be impressed by his smooth "I live in Des Plaines with a roommate but I'm so cute" charm. Ah, boys. Ate brownies, had one rum and coke, played Celebrity (warning teammates that I watch no cable and no longer recognize people in GAP ads, which causes them some consternation.) We win. Boy is getting more drunk and sitting closer; I have breakfast plans with a friend, so call it a night. All in all, not a bad ending to the day.


SP said...

1) You're just not that into him.
2) Rum and coke?!?!?

JC said...

1. No, absolutely not.

2. Rum is the only thaing that makes Coke (and twentysomethings) palatable. I had walked over.

SP said...

Thaing? What are you from the South now, Louise?

JC said...

I have no spellcheck feature on my home internet browser; I need to load Firefox and see how that goes. I was too lazy to type in Word, spellcheck, and copy.

So y'all can shut yer pie-hole.

SP said...

Why don't you know how to spell without having to resort to electronic gadgets? Do you have a Master's in Publishing or something?

JC said...

No. I have you.