Tuesday, March 13, 2007

All of Life is Theme Music

I have been waiting in Phone Queue Limbo for ten minutes now to speak to someone about cancelling a credit card that seemes to have been generated when I took out my last mortgage, but which I've never used. While I wait I am bombarded with a cheery automated voice telling me about all the great things I can do with the obscene debt I can run up with my card.

The hold music is a song that begins with the line, "You can't believe the hell I've been through."

I haven't heard such apt background music since a dentist appointment for a routine gory procedure, when the music on the headphones (presumably to drown out the removal of pieces of me) was Carly Simon singing, "I haven't got time for the pain." This sent me into hysterical laughter, and I explained that it was SO FUNNY because see, the song was about pain, and they were doing a root canal, GET IT!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At which point my dentist looked at his assistant and drily said, "I think we can turn down the gas."

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